You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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