I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize