Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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