The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
