I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
