I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
