Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
