Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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