The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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