when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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