it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
