Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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