you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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