The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize