I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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