Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Say something about gay babies.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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