Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
