we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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