she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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