why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
