Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
