I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
