Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
