yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
