Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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