I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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