you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
