I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
