Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
