I wanna bring you to show and tell
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
