We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
