stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize