I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
