so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You made out with two different species that night
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
