You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
