she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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