He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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