i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i now understand why vodka
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