I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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