as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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