I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Randomize