why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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