capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
