yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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