bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We have started to decorate penises.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
