Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
