hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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