dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
