piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
