I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
the raccoons are back...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
