my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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