The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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