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i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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