i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize