I want to make a zoo with you.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
