mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
