Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize