we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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