Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
