Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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